Meditation Made Easy Read online

  Even a few minutes of meditation can help you shift gears at the end of the day, from work mode to being-with-the-family mode or play mode. In the morning, a few minutes of meditation can help you feel more alert and relaxed all day.

  Because most human illnesses are caused by or worsened by stress, meditation is good for your health. A lot of problems in relationships are caused by one or both partners being under stress. Meditation helps relationships by giving you a way to release stress without dumping on your partner. Also, because in meditation you give yourself a lot of attention, you'll find you have more attention to give to other people. If you aren't as needy, and you can give as well as receive, all your relationships go a bit easier. Meditation is a kind of social lubricant.

  The meditations in this book encourage greater adaptability, resilience, realistic appraisal of stress, emotional expressiveness, and appreciation of life's simple pleasures. What the path of meditation asks of you is steady inquiry into your own nature, which is something you are doing anyway—it's called having desires.

  I Don't Have Time for This, What Do I Do?

  You can meditate for one minute here, three minutes there. Properly done, meditation always gives you more time than it takes.

  As you learn to love meditation, you will create more time for it.

  The busier your life is, the more you crave a vacation. That wanting-a-vacation feeling is one of the main reasons people meditate, and it is a gateway right on in. People who work hard want rest and renewal, and that is mainly what meditation is. Just don't make a big deal out of it, an impossible-to-achieve ideal.

  Meditation can create the same feeling of relaxation and ease as going to a bar after work. The relaxation of meditation is what you would seek in a bar if you drink, in getting a massage if you could afford one each day, in going to Hawaii if you could somehow be transported there instantly after work. The most important thing is to approach meditation in the same natural way you would have a glass of wine, take a nap, listen to music, or go for a walk. Be completely unpretentious with yourself.

  Can I Meditate Just Out of Curiosity?

  Meditation is not just one sappy mood of reverence or quiet. It is a platform from which to witness all your moods. You can come as you are and meditate for any reason under the sun. You can meditate just to check it out; you can meditate in order to have better sex, or because you are stressed out, or because you want some enlightenment. You do not have to be “sincere” or “serious” to meditate. You could be making fun of the whole thing and still get a lot out of it.

  Will I Need to Make Lifestyle Changes?

  The meditation exercises in this book will probably not work well if you are using illegal drugs. Marijuana and psychedelics leave a kind of fog in the neurons that makes meditation seem boring, and these effects last for weeks.

  Other than that, don't change anything unless you want to. Your lifestyle got you this far, so why change it now? You can smoke cigarettes, eat meat, drink coffee, have wine with dinner.

  With regard to food, eat with gusto whatever makes you feel strong and energetic. In the long run, this will probably keep you healthier than following any particular set of rules.

  If you are meditating as part of a health regimen or a “healthy heart” program, of course follow whatever suggestions the doctors have made. And if you are taking prescription medications, then keep taking them. Some people can reduce their blood pressure medication, for example, if they meditate consistently, but that is between them and their doctors.

  Cherish your “vices,” whatever they are; meditation will work its magic on your relationship with them. A lot of what are called vices are ways of letting off steam, releasing tension. When you are less tense, then you may find you don't need to do unhealthy things to unwind.

  Do I Have to Sit Cross-Legged?

  Sitting cross-legged works well for some people and it looks really cool. But this pose does nothing for meditation that can't be done in other ways. The main virtue of the cross-legged posture is that it's handy if you have no furniture, are homeless, or are outdoors.

  Recently two yoga teachers came to me for meditation sessions in the same week. They were both lean young women, and they sat cross-legged on the floor during the session. They shifted around and had to adjust their feet every few minutes. I didn't say anything at the time, because I just wanted to observe. But later I asked each of them and they admitted that they always sit in the cross-legged pose and their legs always hurt after a while when they do so.

  On the other hand, or foot, I enjoy the cross-legged pose. It just feels nifty sometimes. I've used it about half the time in my thirty years of meditation.

  If you can sit cross-legged with total comfort for half an hour without your feet going to sleep or getting uncomfortable—even a little—then go ahead. Remember, though, hurting your knees has nothing to do with getting enlightened.

  Most of the meditations in this book are to be done sitting on a chair or sofa in your favorite place, or standing, walking, or lying down.

  Don't I Have to Have a Guru?

  No.

  Do I Have to Sit Still?

  What's stillness got to do with it? Move all you want in meditation. You only sit still in meditation to better follow the movement of life. It is a natural repose, not something forced.

  When you are deeply absorbed in something—conversing, reading a book, listening to a piece of music—you will sometimes be very still. You become poised in order to better follow the flow of the conversation, the arc of the plot in the story, or the movement of the music. That is the way to be in meditation as well. So stillness of posture happens spontaneously; it is not something you focus on or make a rule out of.

  Life is movement, an infinite dance on every level—atoms move and vibrate, cells undulate, blood pulses, breath flows, electrochemical impulses charge through your nerve pathways. If you are sitting while reading this book, your postural muscles are making lots of tiny little corrections to keep you upright, and the muscles in the diaphragm and ribs are moving with the gentle rhythm of respiration. Each of these little movements is part of the meditation experience.

  The dance of life changes its pace according to whether we are walking, sitting very still, or lying down, but there is always a dance, always the hum and undulation of life.

  When Should I Meditate?

  You can meditate when you want to, or when you decide you should, or whenever you can sneak it in. It is up to you. The basic principle is to meditate before periods of activity, so that your ability to work and play and socialize can be enhanced by the relaxed alertness in which you are learning to function. The standard approach is to meditate soon after arising in the morning and then again before the evening meal. This works well for a lot of people, and it creates a beautiful feeling of rhythm to a day.

  Other options are to meditate once a day in the afternoon or to have several mini-meditations throughout the day. If you meditate before sleep, keep it short and select meditations that are soothing.

  How Long Should My Meditation Sessions Last?

  Start with five minutes in the morning or in the evening. If that does not seem like enough time, then meditate for five minutes in the morning and again for five minutes in the evening. Later, when that does not seem like enough, increase your time little by little.

  For the first month, the most important thing is to develop a sense of being at ease with yourself and having a good time. You could read this book for ten minutes or so, meditate for five minutes, and call it a day. Then come back tomorrow and continue. In the beginning, meditate less than you want to, so that you are always looking forward to the next session.

  After a month, if ten minutes seems too short, then you can let yourself go a little longer. But do not meditate more than twenty minutes in the morning and in the evening until you have been at it for several years. It takes a long time to get used to being relaxed while in action, which is one of the main eff
ects of meditation. There is a lot to learn about handling relaxation.

  If you are really busy, even a few minutes of meditation is beneficial. There are lots of meditations in this book that require less than a minute, and they can be adjusted to last for anywhere from a few seconds to five minutes.

  Where Should I Meditate?

  Meditate wherever you are when you have the time. Some people meditate at their desks before leaving for lunch or at the end of the workday. If your schedule permits, pick a favorite spot in your house or garden or in nature to use for meditation. When I began meditating, I was a freshman in college with an intense study schedule and a job that took fifteen hours a week. I left the house early and came home late, so I used my car as a meditation spot in the late afternoons. There were lots of places to park that were under trees, in empty lots bordering on fields. I also meditated in churches and libraries. If you can arrange to have your own private spot, so much the better.

  Pick spots that match your mood. Approach meditation as you would listening to music, if you love music. Be that informal and easy with yourself.

  * * *

  Pause Now and Take a Deep Breath

  * * *

  What Can I Do Wrong?

  Working at it, trying, or forcing—that's almost the only thing you can do wrong in any meditation. If you are too carefree, it's easy to move in the direction of alertness when you want to. But if you are rushed or tense in your approach, you may build habits that prevent you from resting in meditation, and then you won't want to do it. Take a modified hands-off attitude toward your mind.

  The Only Real Mistakes

  Tip

  Meditation is a natural response of the human body. As with all natural movements, trying ruins the process. Trying to go to sleep, even if you are tired, can make you miserable. Trying to be sexually turned on to someone because you feel obligated to is disgusting. Trying to exercise when you don't want to is boring. Any sense of obligation or stuffiness kills the joy of it. If you find yourself taking meditation too seriously, rent your favorite comedy video and watch it for five minutes before doing the meditation exercises in this book.

  What Do I Need to Get Started?

  All you need are a comfortable chair, a couple of minutes, and one or more functioning sensory pathways, such as hearing or sight or touch. You can come in with any attitude you have: skepticism, curiosity, or enjoyment. Be willing to be surprised and energized, and be willing to fall asleep because you are so relaxed.

  You do not need to know much to get started. Just treat meditation as if you were doing something you enjoy, such as listening to music, napping, drinking, eating, or reading. Put meditation into that slot in your life, with things you do to unwind or quietly have a good time. If you take this approach, you will discover connections between meditation and joyous indulgences you already know, and meditation will quickly become a treasured part of your daily life.

  How Can I Accessorize for Meditation?

  Clothing. Just wear whatever you are wearing—you can be comfortable or uncomfortable. Some of the best meditations I have ever had were while wearing a suit and a tie. I loosened the tie a little. Other all-time great meditations were when I was (1) naked, (2) wearing my favorite silk robe, (3) sitting on a rock wearing swimming trunks, (4) in bed, wrapped in a blanket. It is good to have a blanket or jacket handy in case you get chilled.

  Chair. My favorite chair for meditating is a square waiting-room chair, the kind you see in doctors' offices. It is made of wood and has cloth over padding, and some padding on the arms. These chairs are stable and neither too soft nor too firm. If you sit upright in them, they offer just the right amount of back support. The chair supports your back up to about the middle, leaving the upper torso and head free to move. But you can sit on a sofa or on any comfortable chair anywhere you like. The main thing is that your feet touch the floor. If you are short, cut an inch or whatever is needed off the legs of the chair.

  What Will Happen When I Meditate?

  The main thing you will experience is rhythm, the continuous ebb and flow of many intersecting rhythms, because that is what life is. Your body and mind are composed of complex symphonies of rhythms.

  The sensuous texture of meditation is infinitely varied: there are all kinds of subtle sensations, internal imagery, and sound effects. Experience changes moment-to-moment and is always sort of a surprise, like a good movie. One moment you will be in the bliss of an inner vacation, then suddenly you will be thinking of your laundry list. You will never have exactly the same experience twice.

  In general, your experience will probably move among the following:

  Relaxation and relief.

  Sorting through thoughts about your daily life.

  Reviewing the emotions you felt during the day and giving them a chance to resolve.

  Brief moments of deep quiet and inner peace.

  Near-sleep and dreamlike images.

  Healing: reexperiencing and then letting go of old hurts.

  Tuning up: your nervous system fine-tuning itself to the optimal level of alertness.

  Every thirty seconds or so, you will probably find your body shifting from one to another of these moods or modes.

  You may feel relaxed during all these phases, but the aim of meditation is not relaxation. Meditation is an evolutionary instinct that works to make you more alert and capable of adapting after meditation.

  Do I Have to Make My Mind Blank?

  No, nor do you have to “empty your mind.” This is a myth. There are moments of inner quiet, but thinking is a major part of meditation. You ride thoughts like surfers ride waves. The more you accept all thoughts, the more inner repose you will get.

  Because the brain does a lot of sorting and housecleaning during meditation, it is often tremendously busy. The more your mind wanders during meditation, the more able it is to pay attention after meditation, because it has done its tuning-up.

  Also, since you are relaxed during meditation, you learn to stay relaxed while thinking of things in your life that used to make you tense. You should expect your mind to be noisy part of the time in meditation. You won't care very much, though, because you will still be very relaxed. After meditation is when your mind will be quieter. And because your mind is quieter, those little thoughts you need to know can catch up with you. Your intuition, your gut feelings, your strategic overview, your hunches will emerge with greater clarity.

  * * *

  You Don't Have to Make Your Mind Blank

  * * *

  Do I Have to Concentrate?

  People concentrate a great deal at work, so it would be redundant to concentrate during meditation. It would be a busman's holiday. In meditation you learn how to do the opposite of concentration; you learn to expand the scope of your attention. You learn a kind of attention that excludes nothing, and therefore the needy and unknown parts of yourself can come into range. This is what leads to integration of the personality and coordination of mind, heart, and body. Unlearning concentration is a big part of learning to meditate.

  Do I Have to Slow Down?

  When we are relaxed and attentive, time seems to open up, and there is the feeling of having more time. But we haven't slowed down—it's just that when there is less mental noise, we have a richer contact with the sensuous world.

  Human reaction time is around a fifth of a second. If you see a herd of buffalo or cars racing by, you can recognize the situation and begin stepping out of the way in a fraction of a second. When someone is talking to you, you identify individual sounds in a hundredth of a second, because recognition time is much shorter than reaction time. That means that if you see a friend, you recognize her that quickly. Why would you want to slow down?

  The truth behind the fantasy of slowing down is that meditation gives you more choice about your velocity: you can speed up or slow down as appropriate. Moreover, a synchronization of rhythms occurs during meditation that sometimes creates the feeling that there is mo
re time in the day. Anyone can experience this—parents with their kids, athletes, drivers, musicians. When they are in their groove, they sometimes feel that there's a lot of time in a second. It comes about from heightened attentiveness.

  So don't think you have to put on the brakes in order to meditate. Forget about controlling your speed during meditation. When a thought comes while you are meditating, you can identify what sort of thought it is earlier in the process of its development, because you are attentive. After meditation, there is typically a feeling of harmony, of moving through your day in sync with your inner rhythms. This creates the sense that there is more time in the day. You get to this experience by paying attention, not by trying to slow things down.

  How Could Meditation Be “Easy”?