Meditation Made Easy Page 4

  It is an illusion that there is some “oomph” that you need to apply to meditation, as if you have to push it or jump-start it. Meditation is not an old car with a dead battery. Meditation is recognizing and then giving in to your desire for rest, inner sanctuary, and relaxation. It's a relief to meditate once you know how. The fantasy of effort just gets in the way of meditation, in the same way that trying to go to sleep gets in the way of shifting from being awake to sleeping.

  Most people wouldn't describe sitting on the sofa watching their favorite TV show as “hard.” Then why would it be hard to close the eyes and watch the ongoing sitcom of your mind for half an hour? There might even be fewer commercials.

  If you let meditation be a simple pleasure, it is easy to do. And if you meditate just for the joy of it, it will be good for you and self-reinforcing.

  The amount of effort in meditation is about the same as that of listening to music you enjoy, especially if it's the kind you close your eyes to. Physiologically, meditation is a deeper rest than sleep, so it is by definition even easier than sleeping. The capacity to meditate is built in; you just need to trigger it, and this means allowing your body and mind to go into meditation.

  Many things in life can be hard: finding someone to love is often hard; working out a relationship is hard; breaking up or staying together can be hard; jobs are hard. People dying is hard. You don't have to make meditation hard in order to create an aura of romance about it.

  Is There Anything Difficult About Meditation?

  Coming down off emergency functioning is hard. If you meditate after a stressful day during which you have been running on adrenaline, you'll feel pain for a while because your nerves are buzzing with stress. Sometimes meditation is that familiar pleasure-pain of resting when tired, and sometimes it is more pain than pleasure. Once I was meditating after a long, tiring day and was in the midst of feeling my nerves buzz with pain. I peeked at my watch to see what time it was, then went back to paying attention to the fatigue and pain. An hour later it seemed, I checked my watch again, and less than three minutes had gone by! Gradually, over minutes, as you pay attention, the sensation of tension turns into a pleasurable fatigue.

  Meditation noticeably speeds up the process of shifting from emergency mode to pleasure mode, but you have to be willing to pay the price. The price is that you feel everything, every little buzz and ache in every nerve. The upside is that you feel a lot better after meditation. That's a huge upside, because it means you can walk into a room after a stressful day and walk out refreshed half an hour later. This has an immense impact on your life—you have your nerves back, you have your pleasure back, you have real energy instead of the false buzz of emergency. You won't need a glass of wine to relax, and when you eat dinner, you will actually taste your food instead of unconsciously gulping it. But this is the down-and-dirty, bottom-line nitty-gritty of meditation: are you willing to stay there and pay attention to your own healing?

  Another thing that's hard is experiencing the deeper layers of your own healing. Anytime you are deeply relaxed and feeling safe, your brain will at some point bring up memories of past events when you felt unsafe and tense in order to erase the trauma and free the body of residual fear. To heal a painful memory, you have to relive it while in a safe and relaxed state. Often your brain will review a memory over and over until you can look at it and stay relaxed. This happens spontaneously during meditation, and it happens only to the extent that you can stay relaxed. This is a part of meditation that people have trouble with, because they don't understand it. On the other hand, pulling a thorn out of your foot hurts, but it's a lot easier than limping around, trying to avoid putting pressure on the part of your foot with the thorn in it.

  Because you are relaxed in meditation, your residual tensions come to the surface to be reviewed, evaluated, and released. This same process goes on during sleep, but you are unconscious so you don't notice it. Meditation takes some of the load off sleep. If you have worked through the tensions of the day before going to bed, this tends to make sleep more restful and renewing.

  What's a Meditation Technique?

  The word technique comes to us from Latin and Greek words meaning “weave” and “texture.” This is apt because in meditation you weave together all of who you are to pay attention to one thing.

  There are two elements to any meditation technique: how you pay attention and what you pay attention to. The how is usually gentle, restful, steady attention, and the what is something simple yet sensuous and gorgeous—like breath. In meditation you rest attention in a sensory perception, take delight in it, then hang on for the ride.

  Breath is an example of a sensual focus for meditation. Breath is infinitely interesting because it can be taken for granted, it can be frenzied, it can be passionate, it can be sweet, it can be energizing, and it can be soothing. Breath can wake you up and put you to sleep. Breath can be dignified and it can be wild. If you keep paying attention to breath, you will discover all these feelings in yourself. Breath is a love affair you are having with infinity, and the purpose of any meditation technique is to lead you into being a little bit more in love with life day by day.

  There are thousands of meditation techniques, and all of them have been appropriate for someone, somewhere, at some time. The fact that the meditation traditions have preserved their records across thousands of years is one of the wonders of the world. Those records show that you can pay attention to almost anything as a meditation focus, if you really want to.

  There are many subtle differences in the rules that each meditation tradition advocates, but these are just codifications of what worked in a given situation. They are not carved in stone. They are just rules, like the rules for rugby, soccer, football, tennis, and Ping-Pong. In all those games, there is a rectangular court and a ball. The rules are about what to do with that ball. You are allowed to hit the ball with your feet, head, hands, or a paddle. If meditation were a game, it would be to just let those thoughts sail on by, or over you, or under you. You win if you don't get caught up in trying to control them.

  If you simply pay attention with a gentle, appreciative attitude and do not resist anything, you will tend to go into meditation right away. The body will just start to settle in. There is no need to control anything. Think of it as a conscious nap.

  How Do I Know Which Technique to Do?

  Use your shopping instinct—that's the modern-day equivalent of the hunting-gathering instinct. Follow your “hunches” and preferences as you do when you select music to listen to or television shows to watch. Use your natural curiosity and sense of exploration. It takes a little longer to find your own way in meditation, as opposed to having someone tell you what to do. But the exploring itself can be fun.

  The purpose of any meditation technique is to lead you beyond the technique into a more immediate and vital contact with your everyday life. You will know, usually immediately, which techniques you like. They will be the ones that leave you feeling rested and more available for the joy of living.

  Hey, you only need one or two meditation techniques to last you a year! But they have to be the right ones for you. Also, there is no One True Way to meditate. You can just do what works for you.

  What's a Mantra and Do I Need One?

  In Sanskrit, mantra literally means “a tool of thought.” Sometimes, for some people, a mantra is a great tool to use in meditation.

  Although there are many types of tools of thought—for example, visual images—in practice, the word mantra has come to mean thought as sound. Mantras are special sounds that are handy for use in meditation.

  Shall I run that by you again?

  Thoughts can come in any multimedia presentation—images, inner movies, abstract art, sounds, internal conversations, phrases, feelings, bodily sensations, even smells and tastes. When we are thinking, we think in combinations of all these. But because human language uses sound, and because people talk so much to one another, sound is a very useful m
editation tool.

  Right now, reading this book, you may be hearing the sounds of the words in a very abstract way inside yourself—not a clear enunciation.

  You have already heard mantras many times in the euphonious sounds sung in church, temple, and chorale music. Alleluia. Hallelujah. Amen. Take one of those words and sing it right now, or chant it for a few minutes.

  You have even made up mantras, or parts of them. Sounds such as “oh” and “ah” and “mmmmm,” the kinds of sounds people naturally make when they are exclaiming, sighing, or expressing delight, are the components of mantras.

  Some sounds generate a beautiful feeling that speaks to the body directly. You can listen to such sounds inwardly, without making any external sound, and the effect is like listening to internal music. It can be wonderfully restful. If you find a mantra you like and listen to it while meditating, it's as if the areas of the brain involved in speech are getting a massage.

  Some people love to listen to mantras while meditating, and some people prefer things such as breath. As you explore the exercises, you can find out for yourself what your preferences are.

  How Will I Know I'm Doing It Right?

  If you are enjoying yourself, feel restful, and have a sense of ease, you are doing it right. In the long run, you know you are doing it right if you are more adaptable, resilient, and stable inside yourself and more perceptive and appreciative of life.

  Getting Started

  Getting In

  There are five stages of “getting in” to a meditation. While you are learning, linger in each stage for a while—a minute or two or more. Gradualness is everything in meditation. Once you get to know a meditation, you will glide from one stage to another spontaneously. Eventually, each stage can happen in seconds.

  Set up the room.

  Let background sensations come forward. Attend to inner needs.

  Feel the call to meditate.

  Match rhythms with yourself.

  Include an opening ritual and statement of intention.

  1. SET UP THE ROOM

  First of all, check that the phone is off. If you live with people, tell them you are going to be meditating and not to come in, or put a note on the door. Don't tell them to be quiet, though. Noise is no problem. Check to make sure you have fresh air. If you will be meditating for more than five minutes, you might make sure there's a jacket, sweater, or blanket at hand in case you get cold. If you want to have a book of prayers, or a Bible, or poetry, put that by your spot.

  Then look at the spot where you are going to sit and give yourself a chance to be attracted to it. I sometimes suggest to people that they stand near their spot until they really feel like sitting down. Don't make yourself sit.

  2. LET BACKGROUND SENSATIONS COME FORWARD

  The attitude of meditation is an open embrace of your entire being—who you are in your daily life and who you are in your inner self. It is because of this attitude that the outer and inner can meet, interact, and integrate.

  You start by allowing background sensations, emotions, and thoughts to come to the surface and be tended to. The word tender is related to “attention” and that is what you do: you tender or pay attention to yourself. You begin this process before you close your eyes simply by checking in with yourself. As you sit there and start to settle in, your needs will come to the fore because you have made the space and time. You have made yourself available to yourself. Just engaging with yourself in this way is a mini-meditation.

  As you relax a little, you might notice that you are tired. As you know, when you are working, you can be so focused on what needs to be done that you don't feel your body or your tiredness; you override those sensations. When you are “getting in,” that's the time to give over, let yourself melt, let your body shift from working to resting. This tendering to yourself is the same whether you are going to meditate for a minute or twenty minutes. You may long to get on to something more “profound,” but all these background sensations are the first order of business.

  You may feel your skin, your muscles, your nerves vibrating. You may be aware of unfinished business in the outer and inner worlds. This is what I mean by attending to needs. Attention is drawn to your own needs. You might think you are tired, and become aware of your nerves buzzing and think you are anxious, only to discover that you are excited. As you pay attention, the sensations will tend to change.

  Take a welcoming attitude toward thoughts, even if you start thinking of your to-do list. Bless your brain as if it were a cat purring. After all, a thought is just a tiny electrical event in your neural circuitry, a millionth of a volt. Thoughts are not something to care much about.

  The attitude is: I welcome all of who I am into this space.

  It is this attitude that creates the inner sanctuary. A meditation technique is a way of finding sanctuary within yourself. Within this inner sanctuary, you can think and feel anything without fear of repercussion. You can let your hair down. Nothing counts—you are just letting your mind run wild. Your inner sanctuary is a separate state, in which you do not act on thoughts or edit them but merely witness them. If you like, you can think of it as a confessional or a therapist's couch. Nothing goes beyond these walls. This is so you can let the energies of life flow freely. From the time you begin meditating to the time you end, it's a duty-free shopping zone, a free-fire zone.

  3. FEEL THE CALL TO MEDITATE

  As attention settles into feeling your needs, over a period of seconds or minutes a sense of wanting to close the eyes will most likely emerge. The body wants to give over, to surrender to meditation in order to fulfill its needs to rest and renew itself. Thus, there is no sense of trying to “push” yourself into meditation or make yourself want to close the eyes. This is a very important moment, because you do not want the habit of pushing to intrude into your meditation even a little, even for a second. You are available to meditate, that is all.

  The way you work this is: you sit there, aware of yourself, available, until your eyes close of their own accord. If they don't close, fine: you do an eyes-open meditation.

  When the eyes eventually close, you do not do anything special. Just sit there and continue to be aware of your bodily sensations. If you have been working or playing, you will probably be aware of a peacefulness coming over you, a sense of relief and pleasure at being able to sit. If you have just awakened in the morning, you may be aware of feeling foggy and sleepy, and over time find yourself waking up. What you experience in these first few seconds will tend to be very different in the morning and in the evening.

  4. MATCH RHYTHMS WITH YOURSELF

  After a while of just sitting there, begin to notice the speed and impetus of your thoughts and feelings. Parts of you may feel hurried and have an urgent sense that things need to be done now. Other parts may be craving a vacation and want to drop out. Images, snatches of conversations, bodily feelings will come and go in a kind of rhythm. Your task here is to accommodate yourself to this rhythm. This only takes a second, but it is an essential second. Your intention should be to match rhythms with yourself. It is as if you are joining a dance, the dance of nerves and the dance of life. It is like walking into a night-club where music is playing. You let yourself be moved by the rhythms. Every time you walk into the club, a different band will be playing, or the same band will be playing a different song.

  Then, as you become one with the rhythms of your inner life, you can play with them. You can add your own, speed the band up or slow it down. When you take a conscious breath, your entire body will change its syncopation.

  Matching rhythms with yourself means that sometimes you will fall through all these stages in the space of one breath, and on other occasions you might stay in just one throughout your meditation. You might notice a background sensation come up to be felt, and just attending to it might take up your entire meditation time.

  Sometimes you might find that you don't even feel like closing your eyes to meditate. You might feel like going t
o a karaoke bar and singing your heart out. Give yourself that freedom.

  5. INCLUDE AN OPENING RITUAL AND

  STATEMENT OF INTENTION

  A ritual is some movement or thought you put forth that says “I am an individual being and I recognize that I am part of a vast universe.” There are an infinite number of ways to face life and say this. You could look at a photo of the Earth from space, or a Hubbell photograph of galaxies being born, or you could think of babies, or you could pray to the Infinite. Or if it's sunny, you could go outside and soak up rays for a few minutes. I often watch the sunrise for a few minutes; then when I go inside to meditate, it is as if my being is filled with light.

  You can make up your own rituals as you go. I know a woman who says, “Thank you, Lord of Life, for the gift of this day,” at the beginning of every meditation. As she is saying this, her hands rise from her lap in a natural gesture of openness and thanks. This is just something she did spontaneously one day when we were working together, and she has kept on doing it. It is so natural for her and so beautiful. It makes my hair stand on end to be around her when she does this.

  Other people I know say the Lord's Prayer, or read a Rumi poem, or sing a Gregorian chant in Latin. Once in Vancouver when I asked a student what prayer she felt like saying, she started saying “Hail Mary, full of grace” and the room was filled with an incredible peacefulness.

  Some people will have a prayer in them that longs to come out, and others will have to go on a journey to discover it. I was raised in a religion-free family—we went surfing on Sundays—so religion was all fresh discovery to me. In 1970 when I was training to be a meditation teacher, I would meditate for forty-five minutes eight or nine times a day, with a set of yoga asanas at the beginning, after each meditation, and at the end. My yoga teacher used to say this prayer at the beginning of every set of asanas: